HOW WELL DO YOU KNOW YOUR CHILD?

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A child’s personality is the combination of qualities that form his or her distinctive character (Oxford Dictionary). The American Psychological Association also refers to personality as the enduring characteristics and behaviour that comprise a person’s unique adjustment to life, including major traits, interests, drives, values, self-concept and emotional patterns. They are formed as a result of an interplay between a child’s inherited genes and the environment in which they grow.

When it comes to personality types, most parents are aware of the 4 conventional types described by Hippocrates: the Sanguine, the Choleric, the Phlegmatic, and the Melancholic. The Myers-Briggs system, however, spells out 16 personality types from combinations/permutations drawn from 4 pairs of classification. Each pair reveals extremes of that personality spectrum. The 4 pairs are the JUDGE versus the PERCEIVER, the FEELER versus the THINKER, the INTROVERT versus the EXTROVERT, and the SENSOR versus the INTUITOR. These apply to adults too.

Knowing the personality of your child can help you to better understand your child and know how to relate to him/her. Remember that it is a spectrum(range) so even if you have 2 children who belong to the same category, e.g. Introvert, they may not exhibit the characteristics peculiar to that personality type to the same degree.

 

THE JUDGE VERSUS THE PERCEIVER    


Children who are of the judges’ personality like to plan and are structured. They like to know the details of a task and plan for it. They are absolute in decision-making. They like to know the people involved in the project and what their roles are even before they start. They are usually not happy when the agreed-upon plan must change abruptly, or someone does not perform the role assigned to them.  They sometimes find it difficult to improvise or adjust plans. They are task-oriented and focused and work hard to finish projects ahead of time.

Children with the perceiving personality are more flexible in decision-making. They handle sudden change better and are more open to change and feedback. Their planning if any at all is minimal and easily changes when they face challenges. They are less likely to finish a task ahead of time. Their projects are finished usually close to deadlines or sometimes after. They are quick to find alternatives or improvise when necessary.

 

THE FEELER VERSUS THE THINKER 


Thinkers tend to reason logically and rationally. They like to have adequate information so that they can make informed decisions. They ask a lot of questions and keep probing till they get the information they need. Children who are thinkers will usually make a case supported by logic and not emotions. A child on the extreme of this personality type may come off as insensitive because he/she is usually not moved by how people feel about something. She may observe that the parent is upset about something she is doing but will usually not stop until she is convinced that there is a logical reason for quitting. They are usually not crowd followers and don’t easily succumb to peer pressure.


The feeler, on the other hand, thinks and makes decisions based on how it makes them feel or how it makes other people around them feel. They usually wouldn’t want to do things to upset people and so may stop doing something if it distresses someone even if they don’t understand why, it distresses him/her. They are usually people pleasers and aim for a no-conflict environment. They can easily succumb to peer pressure.

 

THE SENSOR VERSUS THE INTIUTOR 


This describes how the child takes in information from the environment. Sensors prefer to think and work with more practical things and thus pay attention to the information they acquire through their sense of hearing, touch, taste, smell, and sight. Children who are sensors will often refer to things that happened in the past to define the present and/or make projections for the future. For example, if you delayed coming home some time ago and that resulted in the purchase of a dinner at a restaurant, a sensor child might think that the same thing will happen whenever you announce that you will be coming home late. They prefer simple tasks or chores that don’t require a lot of imagination or abstract thinking and that produce results that can be appreciated by the senses. They also enjoy living in the present.

Intiutors on the other hand, enjoy tasks that require abstract thinking. They pay attention to their instincts and don’t always depend on their senses to make judgements. Children who are intiutors can read between the lines and make conclusions. They are not quick to believe everything and test almost everything. They are easily bored by mundane things and like to challenge themselves with projects that require creativity and innovation.

THE INTROVERT VERSUS THE EXTROVERT 


The 4th category of extremes is introverts versus extroverts. People tend to think that introverts are shy people. That is not necessarily so. Both extroverts and introverts can be shy. You can also have an introvert who is not shy. Having a child who is an introvert simply means that the child prefers to be alone and is comfortable in his own space. That is how he recharges. Interacting with people or being in a crowd drains introverts of their energy so they need to be alone to recharge after interacting with people. Children who are introverts tend to listen more than talk and will not be the first to initiate a conversation in a social setting. They tend to have a few close friends whom they can trust and share their thoughts with.

Extroverts on the other hand tend to enjoy being in a crowd or interacting with people. That makes them feel recharged. Being alone drains them of their energy. Interacting with people becomes very necessary after they have been alone for some time. They are great conversationalists and can easily make people feel at home because they easily adapt to different people and different situations. They are quick to analyse problems and are highly flexible. They make new friends and take up challenging roles easily. They tend to like being in environments where there is a lot of fun. They can effortlessly socialize without being on edge.

 

 For each of the categories, where will you place your child? Where do you place yourself also? Remember this is the same for adults too. Enjoy doing this exercise with your family. You might realise that your first child may be a judge, a thinker, an intiutor and an introvert whereas your second child may be a judge, a feeler, a sensor and an extrovert. Knowing where to place your child in each of the categories will help you to understand his/her behaviour better to know how to relate to him/her in certain situations.

The next write-up will deal with how best to relate to children in each of the categories and how to help them reach their fullest potential.

 Dr Gloria Amponsah-Kodua

Paediatrician


Acknowledgement

Dr Kristine Marbell-Pierre and Dr Marilyn Marbell-Wilson of Mission Paediatrics

Dr. Eugene Agyei Aboagye

 

 



 

 

 

 

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